When we refer to depression, we are talking about "clinical depression." Clinical depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Individuals with clinical depression are unable to function as they used to. Often they have lost interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel sad and hopeless for extended periods of time. Clinical depression is not the same as feeling sad or depressed for a few days and then feeling better. It can affect your body, mood, thoughts, and behavior. It can change your eating habits, how you feel and think, your ability to work and study, and how you interact with people. People who suffer from clinical depression often report that they "don't feel like themselves anymore."

Clinical depression is not a sign of personal weakness, or a condition that can be willed away. Clinically depressed people cannot "pull themselves together" and get better. In fact, clinical depression often interferes with a person's ability or wish to get help. Clinical depression is a serious illness that lasts for weeks, months and sometimes years. It may even influence someone to contemplate or attempt suicide.

cited from [link]

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yup...so this is me. i don't know how to fix it but that's me to a T guys. i hate being this way, but then again i don't want crap shoved down my throat saying that i need to fix this and this is how! i'd just as soon put a gun to my head than listen to them. heheh...i'm not going to kill myself. i don't really see the point in doing that.

but seriously, for the past couple of months, or at least since i almost got kicked out of school last semester, i've been contemplating whether or not i was depressed like this. turns out i am. now i haven't been to a doctor or anything, but three people whom i trust and know to be truthful and don't even talk to each other told me that i was depressed. all in the same week. not the funnest thing to be told.

i don't want to take drugs for this. i hate putting medicinal crap into my system. i just want to get better normally, however that is.

and by the way, this didn't just happen yesterday. i've been like this since eleventh grade, or to really pin point it, the summer of the end of my tenth grade year of high school. so this isn't anything new. i've just only figured out that i was this bad.

*sigh* what can you do? lol

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list so far:

nero --completed
for-

guy playing a girl --sorta started
for-

nume and my nume on a swing...with deno pushing? --not started
for-

kyo awesomeness --not started
for-

creative whatnot --not started
for-


group commie picture --not started
for-

rait --not started
for-

ruby and luffy --sketched
for-

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my brother:

my friends from home: <3



my friends from here: l3



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my favorite artists {aka: awesomsauce}:



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artists with delightful style:


<---{freakin' amazing dragon artist}
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lovely mange/anime and/or fanart artists:



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awesome digital artists:


<---{freakin' sick mechs}

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fantabulous cartoonists:



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amazing traditional artists {aka: colorpencilists}:



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fantastic straight-up pencil artists:



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splendid watercolor users:



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sick comic artists:



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fabulous photographers:



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wonderful cosplayers:



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amazing and splendidly fantastic artist! she sculpts! you must go see her!----->

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clubs: